No One Enters a Marriage Expecting Their Partner To Be Unfaithful.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao

However, the sad reality is that infidelity in marriages does happen, especially in modern times, where social media is infiltrating our lives, and different options are constantly making themselves available, and tempting people to make decisions that are not responsible or appropriate ones.  

In this blog, we will briefly go over some of the top warning signs, in no specific order, according to psychologists and marriage experts that your spouse is being unfaithful to you, and what you should consider if you believe you are in this situation.  

Sign 1: Your Spouse Has Suddenly and Noticeably Improved Their Appearance For No Apparent Reason:  

 This may seem odd, but it is more common of a sign than you would expect. If suddenly, completely out of the blue your partner is working out or is getting their hair styled, or getting cosmetic surgeries, or even dressing in a more fashionable way, this can be a sign of an affair.   

This can also be a sign of your partner trying to spice up their love life with you, so don't think just because your partner has taken a new interest in their physical upkeep they are cheating. However, if this is compounded, with other signs, there may be something up.  

 Sign 2: Being Very Private with Their Phone and/or Computer Usage:  

In my opinion, this is the number one sign of infidelity in 2021. If someone suddenly is protecting their phone as if their life depended on it, then there are reasons to have suspicions about why they are acting like this. Or if they suddenly are erasing all their history on their computer, and logging out of everything once they are done, again a very valid reason for a spouse to have questions as to why these new behaviors have developed.  

Sign 3: Periods Where Your Significant Other Is Unreachable:  

Photo by Benjamin Lizardo

When a spouse is involved in an affair, they are 100% going to become harder to get ahold of due to their attention being elsewhere. You may notice your once responsive partner now is rarely answering calls or texts. In return, you may get excuses such as they were driving, their phone was on silent, they were talking with a client, etc. Either way, these excuses may be valid in some instances, but at a certain point, an accumulation of remarkably outlandish happenings becomes a reason to believe your partner may not be being entirely honest with you.  

Sign 4: Emotional and or Sexual Intimacy Has Noticeably Decreased:   

All relationships go through a honeymoon phase, and all relationships tend to have a slight fizzle out. However, even after the fireworks are done a healthy relationship should have a strong foundation built, and there is still a level of intimacy. There should be a bond after the fireworks and that is what is theoretically supposed to keep emotional intimacy in a relationship blossoming.  Therefore, when a spouse starts to become less emotionally available and/or intimate there is a strong indication that they are putting that emotional energy elsewhere.   

Along with the emotional availability with your partner noticeably decreasing, you may also notice a physical intimacy decrease as well. If your partner is becoming less interested in being sexually intimate with you this could be because they have shifted their focus onto someone else.

On the other hand, it could be a combination of both or a variation. Perhaps you are still engaging in sexual intimacy, but it doesn't feel as emotionally connected as it once was. Another possible sign of cheating is that the intimate relations you and your partner are having feel less emotionally connected. Or perhaps, after years of the same sexual behaviors, now your partner is introducing new types or varieties of intercourse into your bedroom. Any of these behaviors listed in this section can certainly be red flags of your partner being unfaithful to you.  

Sign 5: There Are Suddenly Unexplained Expenses on Accounts. 

If there are odd charges on your partner's credit cards, or there is suddenly less money in you or your partner's bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, etc., that's a possible sign of infidelity.   

Photo by rupixen.com

Disclaimer: It is completely possible that your significant other could display all ten of these behaviors and then some, while still remaining faithful to you. Sometimes people just act strangely due to other factors, that aren't affair-related. Then again, it is also possible that your spouse is not showing any of the aforementioned signs, and they still could be engaging in an affair.   

At the end of the day, trust your gut instinct. 

Photo by Zoriana Stakhniv

 With all of this being said, this is simply a list of common signs that there is something happening in your partner's world and your relationship you consider should addressing, in a healthy manner. Even if it isn't an affair, when a partner starts acting in an unusual fashion on a regular basis it is smart to be proactive and address it from a loving place.   

There is no foolproof way to “prove” your partner is having an affair unless they say it, or there is legitimate concrete evidence of the affair such as messages, or photos.   

If you feel your spouse could be cheating the best thing you can do to keep your marriage strong is to communicate with them in a healthy, compassionate way. Marriages are work, and they require maintenance to keep both parties happy in the relationship. In the event you do come to the unfortunate realization that your spouse has been unfaithful to you, please reach out to someone. If you feel it can be repaired, maybe start with talking to your partner one on one. If that isn't an option you are comfortable with but still feel like there is a chance your marriage can be repaired, you should consider reaching out to a marriage counselor.   

However, if you feel that this infidelity is not repairable, then you may need to reach out to an attorney and begin the process of dissolution of the marriage with your spouse. That should always be the last resort, but divorces are legal for a reason, and they are to help people out of relationships they cannot fix, or do not feel are healthy/safe anymore.  

 Whatever you decide to do, there is no shame in your choice.

Your goal should be a happy healthy marriage, but humans are not perfect beings, and sometimes things don't work out. In that event, the Higher Level Legal Law Firm has a team of attorneys that will passionately fight for you and your rights. Please reach out today and schedule a consultation if you feel things have gone awry in your marriage and have decided and are ready to make the step to exit your union.